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Brits Confused by the Kissing Conundrum |
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Author: Frank Smith Article source: http://www.articlealley.com/. Used with author's permission.
Brits Confused by the Kissing Conundrum
When to kiss, when not to kiss, how many kisses and who to? - the rise of the social kissing culture is getting us confused in the workplace and beyond
31 January 2007 - How well do you need to know someone before you greet them with a kiss? Do you give one kiss, two, three or even four? What do you do in a business meeting? Do you put lips to cheek or go simply go ?mwouah' in their ear?
With Valentine's Day just around the corner, kissing is on everyone's mind, but according to graduate recruitment company Pareto Law a growing number of Brits are getting increasingly confused by when to kiss and when to stick with a polite ?hello' or a formal hand shake.
"As a race Brits are generally quite conservative, but the kissing culture has taken off over the last few years and is now causing great confusion in terms of when to do it, when not to do it and how often to do it," says Jonathan Fitchew, MD of Pareto Law.
"We're in a people business and advise thousands of graduates every year on areas such as meetings, interviews and presentations, but the one thing we all struggle with is the etiquette that now surrounds social kissing. Unlike in France where kissing is part of a culture built up over centuries we are just starting out and quite frankly we are on foreign soil. The following rules are designed to give novice kissers a little guidance in this social minefield."
Here are Pareto Law's tips for social kissing etiquette...
1) In a Business Meeting - Stick with the hand shake - even if you know one of the other people very well, with others present it's better to keep things professional and business-like.
2) One, two, three, or four? - In the UK it's generally one or two kisses, but this causes wide confusion - and many knocks to heads and noses. The best advice is to stick with one, although if you're overseas it's worth knowing the local customs, for example in the Netherlands three kisses are expected, while in Spain it's two kisses, with the right cheek first.
3) Company Culture - much of the kissing confusion comes down to our culture, and in terms of business, the corporate culture. More conservative fields such as banking or manufacturing tend to be more comfortable with a handshake, but in creative fields such as the arts or advertising a kiss may be the way to go, once a relationship exists.
4) Timing is everything - For many a social kiss later in the day feels more acceptable than in the morning - a little like the first beer. Kissing at a 9am team meeting is not recommended, but at a staff dinner in the evening it may be appropriate, although be aware if you kiss a couple of people you may need to keep going with all of your colleagues.
5) Follow Other's Lead - If you're unsure about whether to kiss or not, be prepared that it may happen and follow what others do. If someone moves in for an ?air' kiss or two, don't back away, try to accept it as naturally as possible.
6) Who to kiss - This can be tricky, but as a general rule, if you've never met the person before don't kiss them, especially if it is a work contact. If you know them reasonably well you may want to give a light kiss in a social environment. If you know them very well you can social kiss with ease.
7) How to Kiss - In Britain we tend not to actually touch lips to the other person's cheek - instead we rub cheeks and kiss the air. While our European neighbours may find this a little strange, in a business environment it's more acceptable than placing a smacker on the cheek of a business partner or supplier.
8) Be a Consistent Kisser - If you kiss someone on one occasion don't hold back the next time. They may think they have offended you or developed some contagious disease. This is complicated by the fact that the first kiss may have been at a dinner party and the next time you meet is at the Tesco's checkout, which may not put you in the same kissing mood.
9) Never but Never on the Lips - There is nothing more disturbing than a social kiss that turns into a semi-snog, especially if you are the involuntary "snogee." Make sure the cheek is offered at a more acute angle to avoid such mouth-on-mouth action.
10) E-mail Kisses - The rise of the e-mail kiss - and the smiley face - has been felt by most people who use e-mail. In the business environment it's not appropriate to end an e-mail with a kiss when you're writing to any business contact. If you know them very well and the e-mail is of a more personal nature, rather than professional, kisses can be good.
/ends.
About Pareto Law
Pareto Law is the UK's leading graduate assessment, placement and training organisation, employing over 80 people at offices in Cheshire, London, Leeds, Birmingham, Bristol, Crawley and Glasgow. The company believes that often 80% of sales come from the top 20% of the sales team. Pareto Law aims to provide this top 20% through a mix of rigorous assessment and professional training. The company also runs sales and communication skills training for experienced employees, enabling companies to raise the calibre of their existing teams. Pareto Law places some 1200 graduates a year with prestigious clients including; Computer Associates, Dell, Johnson & Johnson, Barclays and Coors Breweries. In late 2004 Pareto began to extend its operations through a regional franchise programme, which has continued to strengthen the Pareto brand throughout the UK.
For more information call 01625 255 255 or visit www.paretolaw.co.uk
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